Corey+Dean

Jim Morrison: Wicked Freedom Corey Dean What could have happened? Where am I, and why is it so cold? (Morrison begins to move, suddenly realizing that he can't.) What is going on, why can't I move? (Suddenly he realizes where he is.) (He tries to push the bodies off of him, but it seems impossible) What hell is this? (He questions in frustration, as some how he slithers out of the pile.) Gasp! (He lets out as he jumps up from his bed, breathing heavily.) Only a dream, thank god! (Mumbling to him-self as he lays back down, face now sour with bad memories.) "I remember it like yesterday…" (Bluntly stating those words in dread.) Mom, I don't want to go, it will take to long. (Nagging as most children do, his mother insisted, and the young Morrison got in the car.) Why do we have to go in the first place? I remember questioning. (You could tell in his big child-like eyes that he did not want to go on the road trip.) Soon after we left I remember dozing off, to the sound of my grandpas voice. (Even with Morrison asleep, his mother and father accompanied by his grandpa, continued to drive down the road.) What sounded like a thousand wolves, scratched the inside of my ears, it scared the life out of me forcing me to awake, (He bumped his head on the window.) What a painful noise. Later to my knowledge, the utterly annoying sound was that of a car wreck and to my memory a brutal one. (He drifts back to sleep, jumping right into his dream.) (His dream) The first car lost control then collided with the rear end of another, causing the two to ram the side of a big transport truck flipping it across the highway. Then, just then he saw it, the devastating memory for a second time his faced dropped. He saw the overturned truck. The truck had had been filled with Indians, who now lay bloody, bruised, and scattered across the highway. (His eyes opened with amazement.) Like a child is so pure and innocent, just as flowers in the wind, I was floating there, as if I was nothing. The souls of the dead Indians those ones from the crash, were just running around freaking out, not knowing what to do, then they noticed Morrison and just leaped into him. AHhhhhhh (he screams out in agony, swallows hard.) "Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding, Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind." (Replayed in his mind, now completely awake.) What a horrid nightmare, thinking about that incident now, looking back maybe somehow just maybe those souls, the ones of the ghosts of those dead Indians… maybe one or two of 'em… were really just running around freaking out, noticed me and just leaped into my Soul. (He gulps at the thought of it), and they're still in there. (He gets up from bed, and walks into his bathroom, stands in front of the mirror and stares, stares into the face in which he don’t really recognizes.) What would I have become if that day never happened? Who would I be? I am myself Jimmy Morrison the leader of the doors, fans declare that I am some kind of savior, who would set them free, how could that be? How could I set anyone free who doesn’t or can’t stand up for them selves? Freedom is wanted but why are so many afraid of it? I care only of my feeling and obtaining the ability to express them is true freedom. (He wipes the sweat from his face, and walks away from the mirror, and back to setting on his bed.) I can’t free anyone, I only offer doors, and they only offer new ways I can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free. “In life we are turned loose in this world to wander in search of a phantom ... endlessly searching for a half-forgotten shadow of our lost reality.” Still I’m searching, hoping that I will find my long forgotten track. (Shakes his head in petty). To become something that society wants, my fans, friends, and even family force us to destroy who we really are, its murder, I wonder if I’m really dead? I only I can solve this problem, I must find myself in this god-forsaken world, it’s the only way for me to find true freedom, (he lays down into the softness of his bed) and hope I awake tomorrow a new man. (He falls asleep almost instantly).

Corey- Hey guys i fixed my piece, tell me what you think.

Alma--you need stage direction,and make the first few paragraphs more clear..

Tiffany The beginning is very confusing you should clear up what he's talking about. Why are you talking about indians? What is he doing in the beginning? Where is he? Also there are a few grammer mistakes.

Monique - This is so confusing. I told you to change some stuff before you put it on here. Um I dont get what the guy is doing, going or any of that. Plus you still need stage directions mister Corey. I think that your piece will be alot better when you make the changes.

Ashley Royalty- You need stage directions in the beginning, so maybe you could turn your first paragraph into stage directions. Its kind of confusing and hard to keep up with when your character is actually dreaming, or having a dream while he is dreaming, so maybe you could do something to make it easier to keep up with.

Bebout - this might be the most confusing thing ive ever read. ur defenantly gonna want to clear it up a little. make it a little easier to understand. in an essence dumb it down a little. lol. when is he dreaming, whats with the indians? & you dont have any stage directions. it might make it easier to understand if you explain it a little like in (___) or something.

Kyle -- It was interesting... It needs an uniformal shape. If you were to order the events better or make all the events clearthen it would be better. Once you dothat it'll be pretty good I think.

Corinne- I would say it was confusing, but it looks like you've heard enough of that. The last paragraph or two are very strong and you're very descriptive. Just make sure (in the very beginning) that what is dreaming and what is not is very clearly defined

Arlena- You need to add more infomation and its confusing. Stop repeating the same thing over. Also you need better stage directions and make your dream more clear.

Ms. Schoen -- See all of the above. It is confusing and needs direction.

Akmyrat - Corey, that's good, but I woulded add some stage on the very beginning. Show the place, write about how it look likes around. But I think that's good.

Courtney- I think that you have a good idea, but you need more stage direction and you need to explain a little more but i think it has potential :]