Sarah+Jones

Janis Lyn Joplin: “Queen of Rock And Roll” By: Sarah Jones

(A tired Janis Joplin drags her feet to center stage. Her eyes have dark black circles and her skin is a pasty white color. Her body looks as though she has been beaten. There are blood marks showing through her shirt on her arms. She is wearing a long sleeve shirt to cover the wounds. She smiles an awkward smile as though she is hiding her true feelings. A man walks from left stage and sets up her microphone. She clears her throat and a drunken like voice rolls from her mouth.)

How strong can I look without looking fake? If only they knew the real dilemma in my body. Is my pain so obvious that it has captivated their attention to me? That feeling I get when that rush of adrenaline and anxiety pumps through my veins. That feeling you may ask is the only beauty that exists in me. The only sense of beauty that I ever felt. That amazing beauty is the works of heroin, which happens to be my only friend these days, but don’t tell lonely that.

(She begins scratching her face ferociously like there are bugs crawling through her skin. Shrieks of pain and anger bellow from her mouth. A waterfall is raging through her eyes and down her scarred face.)

My scars are permanent and make me ugly. I just want to rip my face off and be done with it. I was the laughing stock of school and still am. I notice people smirking at me, I know they are looking at my scars. They think I’m stupid, but, I’ve known all along. I knew I was never going to be loved.

(She smirks at the audience. Her hands are relieved from her face. She wipes the blood on her pants and continues as though nothing happened.)

I wasn’t a crazy person all my life. I used drugs on a normal basis dragging my life into a slow hell. My problems were worsening and my body was telling me I was dying. Realizing my problem I quit the drugs and concentrated on my music. My albums became better than ever.

(Janis lifts her hands to the sky like she is reaching for God. A smile is present showing a beautiful side not yet portrayed. Her face was glowing with laughter.)

My albums exceeded platinum; some of them touched the sky at triple-platinum. A great accomplishment in many people’s eyes. The fame was outrageously impressive. My classmates would be disgusted to see someone they hated so much to be rocking’ their world. My 10-year class reunion was approaching and I was ecstatic to see the looks on their faces. Although all the fame was luxurious, loneliness happened to be my best friend throughout those long lonely days. I was known for driving around San Diego in my psychedelic Porsche. That car was a real attention getter, but what people failed to notice was how washed out and lonely I was.

(A man standing at right stage opens the hotel door for Janis. He slips her a sly smile. Janis slowly marched to the vending machine where she bought a pack of cigarettes. She glided up the staircase and into her room.) I never expected the things that happened next. I collapsed to the floor, gripping the bed to try to stand on my feet. My body had shut down and I knew that I was dying. My life flashed in my eyes and the wondrous parents I had were a faint image fading slowly away. A light gleamed in my eyes and pulled me in, as I fought not to be drawn in by the light.

(Detectives were standing around the room pondering the scene. A broadcast screeched through televisions across the nation. People were devastated, but would never be able to feel the pain of the one’s who loved Janis the most. Janis’ soul levitated from her body to a stance. Her ghastly body backed to left stage and viewed the crime scene. A tear of regret slides down her face. Janis drops her head and walks out of sight.)

Zach--- I think the peice is great. I don't really know were there should be correction. Maybe at the end, you could add a little more detail(?).

SARAH JONES- I ATTEMPTED TO CREATE NEW ENDING. IS THIS BETTER?

Tiffany -- This is a very good peice, I'm just a little confused about her wounds, and why she was scratching her face? SARAH JONES- I ATTEMPTED TO ADD IN THE SECOND PARAGRAPH WHY SHE SCRATCHED HER FACE.

Jules--- GOod nothing really to correct! SARAH JONES- THANK YOU!

Alma--i dont understand this sentence.."That amazing beauty is the works of heroin, which happens to be my only friend these days, but don’t tell lonely that", and just go over the spelling once again, because i seen some errors.. but good good job :) SARAH JONES- THAT SENTENCE IS THERE TO SYMBOLIZE THE FACT THAT SHE VIEWED LONELINESS & DRUGS HER BEST FRIEND, BUT, IT ALSO SYMBOLIZES THE FACT THAT SHE WAS KIND OF CRAZY WHILE LONELY. SHOW ME WHERE THE ERRORS ARE?

Ms. Schoen -- Your monologue seems to be in various parts. It doesn't seem to be very cohesive in some instances. In other words, your transitions are a bit lacking in some areas. For instance....this "These scars are from hideous teen years, hateful children who deemed me the laughing stock, and genes from parents who don’t know how to stop a child’s problem." seems to be random and needs more elaboration and detail for it to fit in. It is as if you just stuck that in for more words and assumed the reader knows what you are talking about. Elaborate and give more depth. It got jumpy here. I do like the first paragragh where you connect lonely and drugs...very catchy. The ending I also like....

Corinne- It might transition better if you gave just enough more background info to make it more understandable, while not making it too much longer